In no particular order...
1) I have never eaten a fast food burger in my life. And after reading Fast Food Nation, I NEVER will. Gag!
2) I throw hissy fits about this brain tumor crap sometimes. I'm getting entirely sick of being stuck in a place all week where the smell makes me nauseated (Don't get me wrong, I am grateful that the Hope Lodge exists and is free to stay in. But, do they have to make it smell so dang bad?!). I am sick of being generally nauseated. I'm just getting crabby in general. But I'm entitled, right? More than anything, I am sick of people taking my blood!!
3) I have to take two Lorazepam (anti-anxiety drugs), lie down, close my eyes, and pretend it's not happening to get my blood drawn. And I'm still a big sissy even then. I hyperventilate in the waiting room, and my face/eyes spasm the whole time I'm sitting in that dang chair. And I have to have this done 4 out of 6 weeks because I'm doing chemo and radiation at the same time. Crap...
4) I like peanut butter and bacon sandwiches. Well normally I do, this radiation bit has me wanting to hurl at the smell of meat. Before you get sick, let me explain. When I was little, my dad, my sister and I didn't like tomatoes or mayo. That makes it kind of hard to eat BLT's! So my dad came up with peanut butter and bacon sandwiches. They all eat some form of BLT now, but I still can't stand tomato or mayo, so... it has to be bacon and super chunky peanut butter :)
5) I officially want to be a vampire. Well, I want to be Bella anyways! The Twilight series sucked me in like a little teenage girl.
6) I have a group of lady friends, most of which I have never met in person. I swear to God they keep me sane sometimes. I love you ladies!
7) I spend an obscene amount of money of plane tickets flying back to WI. However, it's worth it! And I can think of someone else who agrees completely.
8) I sleep with three stuffed animals. And they have names. Pumpkin (cat), Babycakes (cat), and Teddy (teddy bear, obviously). Oh and a blanky. Yes, I am five years old.
9) Tyson and Hormel products make me want to hurl. Yuck!
10) I hate doing the dishes. At times, I have huge stacks of dishes in my sink and on my counter. Sometimes, I wait until almost all of my dishes are dirty before I will even try to load the dishwasher, despite my normal clean freak nature. This is how much I hate doing dishes.
11) I despise smoking. It's a filthy habit and the smoke gives me a headache. I absolutely love that Colorado is smoke-free in bars/restaurants/etc; I wish the whole country would go smoke-free.
12) On that same note, I have never smoked anything in my life (one exception, I took one puff off pipe tobacco. I don't grasp the concept of inhaling though). No cigarettes, no pot, nothing.
13) Is my lucky number. It was my number all through sports in high school.
14) Speaking of high school, I loved wearing spandex for volleyball. It was so much more comfortable and easy to move! I liked them so much I still wore spandex under my shorts and pants for basketball and softball.
15) I really want a peanut butter sandwich right now (without bacon), despite the peanut recall. The radiation really limits which foods will not make me hurl, and right now, that sounds especially tasty.
16) Steroids are the devil. I'm sure most of you have heard me bitch about them on more than one occasion, but they truly are. And the side effects seem to have lasted long after I stopped taking them. They do their job for sure (I had momentary relief of headaches), but the side effects suck. I feel bad for people who have to be on them for longer than a month.
17) I am losing hair my by the handful, and only today I found a spot that is starting to bald. Apparently I have more hair than I thought! But the sensation of it falling out and the fact that it is absolutely everywhere (I'm shedding worse than a golden retriever) is a rather pain in the ass.
18) After brain surgery, I had to stop watching hospital shows for a month. And as soon as I started watching House again, sure enough... they were doing a stereotactic biopsy. Things I could've gone without seeing.
19) I still have to choke back tears when I think about my grandma. It's been almost three years, but I can't help it.
20) I have fleeting thoughts about running away. Not like running away to Colorado to live (wait, I already did that!), but seriously running away to Europe. Not permanently, but just for a couple months. Anyone want to go?
21) I haven't slept normally in months. At first it was the steroids. Now, who the hells knows. Some combination of chemo, radiation, and stress. I want to sleep for more than 8 hours without the help of AmbienCR, which only works some of the time. And I want to sleep for a consecutive amount of hours.
22) I love Harry Potter, and I don't care how geeky it is. I have read the entire series twice, and will probably read a couple of the books again before the sixth movie comes out. I also wish it was real. Eff this, I'm going to Hogwarts!
23) The age I will be in April. Nobody likes you when you're 23.
24) I am obsessed with plucking my eyebrows. Those of you who knew me in middle school should understand this (read: I had a unibrow). I must be traumatized from then, and this is what's fueling my obsession.
25) I cannot wait to go on vacation. Nate and I need a vacation after this radiation vacation.
3 years ago
